My kids spent their early years in an in-home day care. The blessing in this was the relationships that we were able to form with the other kids and their families. Here were are, sixteen years later, spread out around Northern VA, and we are all still connected. When one of the kids from our day care family reached out to do a story about me, I was both honored and thrilled to spend time with her during her interview. I could have never written this story as eloquently or perfectly as she did. She captured me completely. I read this through many tears that came from a place of being understood. Keep in mind that this talented young author is a sophomore in high school…
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Surviving Cancer through Community
by Sofia Darido
Most historians would describe D-Day as the largest seaborne invasion in world history. To Paige Mclaughlin, D-Day is July 12, 2021, the date she found out war was being declared within her body. After months of doctor’s appointments, strange symptoms, and an ominous feeling that something was wrong, Mclaughlin walked into an urgent care seeking answers. The staff ran tests and performed a scan, and Mclaughlin was told that there was something the radiologist wanted to pursue. A CT scan revealed that she had a mass between 5 and 6 inches in her chest, “almost like a grapefruit.” Mclaughlin reveals to me in our interview, “That’s when my D-Day was, my own personal D-Day in my head. That’s when I realized that I probably had something that they thought was cancer.”
I know Paige Mclaughlin as the mother of Connor and Regan, my friends from preschool. Others know her as the real estate agent who helped them find a home to buy. The internet knows her as @paigernet, a tiktok creator who tells her story with diffuse large B cell lymphoma.
Paige McLaughlin was born in Lubbock, Texas, in 1977. Her mother was a teacher andher father was a pilot. As a child, she was frequently uprooted and her family moved around a lot due to the circumstances of her father’s job. She tells me that when she lived in New York, she would often visit a new home community in an area called Port Jefferson. The crew working on these model homes saw her so often that they knew her name. Mclaughlin tells me she “was enamored by the fact that it was for sale, and the whole concept of selling houses.” This spark of passion for houses led her to the career she still holds today: real estate agent. But it wasn’t just the houses that inspired her– it was the people. In Mclaughlin’s own words, “real estate is a relationship business,” and her affinity to talking, public speaking, and communication made the career a perfect match. Even from an early age, she displayed a personality that thrived off of relationships with others, which has helped her remain in the property business for 20 years. While her career stayed constant, Mclaughlin reveals that her life continued to change in a number of ways.
She tells me that she always knew she wanted kids and that when she got pregnant, it was one of the most exciting and incredible adventures she had ever experienced. Though parenthood is one of the greatest joys in her life, Mclaughin’s journey of motherhood was not linear. She tells me about her battle with postpartum depression, “Postpartum depression was a new thing for me … but I just felt trapped. And that sounds really bad … It just was hard, it just was illogical, because that’s what postpartum depression is, is totally illogical. And I realized that my life was not my own.” Despite these struggles of mental doubt, Mclaughlin has gained so much from being a mother. She describes in depth the immense happiness she feels for being there for her kids. “One of the greatest joys of my life is going to soccer games, going to guitar concerts, and going to the honor roll ceremony.” Even on the day of the interview, she spoke about being excited to go to her daughter’s all star basketball game that night.
At this point in the interview, I had reached the seventh question on my list: Tell me about your cancer journey. I felt a pause from Mclaughlin, and she eventually responded with “I might get emotional during this part.” I assured her that there was no pressure to answer anything she didn’t want to, but she said she had no problem talking about it. Mclaughlin is very public when it comes to her cancer journey; she has an instagram account, a tiktok account, and a blog where she opens up about the highs and lows of her story and diagnosis. Over 25,000 people follow her tiktok profile and she says that those people are a meaningful part of the community that helped her get through the hardships she faced. She refers to this online community as “CancerTok,” a place on the app for people who are diagnosed with cancer, have a family member going through something similar, or for people who just want to help support. Social media often has a negative connotation due to the hate, bullying, and toxic ideals that can be present, but Mclauglin tells me she experienced the opposite. Out of the over 100 videos she posted on her tik tok profile, she only received one negative comment, when somebody said: “Who cares?” But Mclauglin’s profile stands as evidence: 26,000 people care.
Mclaughlin believes her connection to social media was absolutely amplified by her cancer journey. Before being diagnosed, she was open to social media and would often post about her children, friends, and quotes. After July 12, 2021, her presence on these platforms morphed and it became a tool for support and strength. She tells me, “I love social media because again … I am a person’s person. I love relationships.” Not everyone can handle having your personal life open for the entire world to see, but Mclaughlin’s extroverted personality and craving for connection allows for social media to be a positive influence in her life. She is grateful that these platforms have become a positive in her own life, so she always attempts to help others with it too. An example of how Mclaughlin did this was on her vacation
in Florida, when a lady she’d never met reached out to her on Instagram through direct messaging. They spent hours messaging back and forth while Mclaughlin was by the pool; and when asked why she dedicated her time to that woman, she said “because she was hurting, she was really, really hurting because the father of her young child … was diagnosed with the exact
same type of cancer and similar location.” Mclauglin offered the advice that she learned throughout her journey: the path will be rough, but you will get through it. She told her to focus on the after, even if it seemed impossible in the moment, because the negative mindset would not help. Mclaughlin was happy to become a trailblazer for this woman as others had been to her. She says, “To know that there’s another side is a really powerful thing.”
The cancer community is a beautiful thing born from a dreadful disease. Thousands of people going through hardship are given support and strength partly due to the opportunities that social media provide. Mclauglin’s story is a prime example, as she tells me, “I think the thing that got me through everything I’ve been through today is community. It’s my people.” Whether you reach out to a friend, or a stranger you’ve never met, connection is the most important thing for mental, emotional, and even physical health.
